Reframe how you think about your trauma and challenges
Most people have heard or been asked the question, “Is the glass half empty or half full?” How do you answer the question? Does it depend on the day of week? Does it depend on how well you are doing in this stage of your life? Most people know that the answer should be “half-full”.
The fact is it is a trick question. The glass is always both. The real question is which will you experience? You will experience what you associate to. If you associate to the joy, happiness, love, and value of a moment or memory that is what you’ll have. It will be half full as much as you put your intention and focus there.
I have a tough question: think of challenges or even horrific incidents that happened to you, what is half full about it?
There is a story I use frequently of one of my clients who had challenges her whole life. She has five separate abandonment issues where her mom died, her dad remarried, her step mother died, and her dad remarried again and sold her bedroom and moved away. She has been to therapy and counseling a bunch of times. So what is half full about her situation?
She couldn’t find one, but those are beliefs. But here is one that she settled on: when she was eight years old, in many respects, she became a mom to her younger siblings and she did a pretty fine job. Ultimately the family in high school ended up having problems but she could go back to all her memories and reframe them. When you look at when those belief systems were formed, they began very critically for her. Life was amazing for her before she was eight years old and then her mother passed away. Her life completely changed at that point. But she can now go back to when she was eight years old and know she was an amazing role model and daughter.
When you look at the half full and half empty meanings around why you’re hurt and a number of other things, there is no pain. There is nothing to be mad about. A lot of people will say “Who has a life with no pain? That’s impossible.” They will talk about the problems in their life, they will tell you all the reasons for why they are a victim. At the same time we know people that have had horrible traumas and have come out with unbelievable and amazing lives.
The point is you can look at anything that is hurting you and I guarantee there is another meaning to be had.
If you use this tool of quantum reframing, of choosing a half full meaning and way of looking at things, and create it for yourself, you will have a different experience and a different set of outcomes.
We can always create something that is half full. In the deepest darkest part of the night I promise you there will be a light if you seek it. It’s taking what’s half empty, looking at what’s wrong with you, and finding the half full. Look at what’s right with you. It’s the butterfly coming through the very narrow opening in the chrysalis, the channel that brings the water, and it’s the fire that forges the hottest steel. It’s the disability that creates greatness for most people.